It’s About Who You Are
Dear Claire,
Your question about getting past the sense that you are living someone else’s life and not your own rings so true with me, and I’m eager to help you think through a possible mind shift, so that you can begin to discover your unique purpose.
This feeling that we aren’t sure who we really are often stems from what you may have heard termed a “limiting belief”; when something happens in our life, whether an event or thoughtless words and attitudes toward us, we often make up a story about it to protect ourselves, and begin to live as if it were true. We believe our story keeps us safe, but it really only impedes our ability to live up to our full potential. When we see ourselves as either being or not being “something”, we are allowing that little “to be” verb to make a powerful commentary on what we think we can accomplish.
For many years, I struggled with thinking I was living as an “imposter” in my own skin: I didn’t feel like I was who other people thought me to be, and much of what I did seemed disconnected from the “me” I thought I should be. I’d like to share some thoughts I jotted down recently, about the journey I have taken in changing my mindset; hopefully, they will be a timely example for you of how limiting beliefs can affect your identity:
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Something tells me today that I’m not the only one who suffers from “imposter syndrome”. On these blustery days when the weather flips between rainstorms, sunshine, powerful wind gusts, and spits of snow, and can’t decide which season it wants to be, I am far more inclined to believe the nagging suspicion that not only am I an imposter like the weather, but that the familiar analysis paralysis creeping up from behind is ready to assault my fragile belief that I actually could help someone. On days like this I feel unworthy of anyone’s trust — because I don’t have a degree in English (I do have a degree in something else, if that’s any consolation), or because I haven’t ever worked as a copyeditor for a major news or entertainment outlet, or because I haven’t done any “major” freelance writing work to speak of (please note that I did indeed just end a sentence with a preposition, and I don’t regret it). I only know that I absolutely LOVE the written word, written well, and I love helping other people create their own well-written communication.
For twenty-seven years I mentored children of varying ages and educational advancement in the art and science of beautiful writing across every genre. I have also had opportunities over the years to create and publish newsletters for both state and local organizations, to write light news copy for a small local newspaper, to create copy for tri-fold informational flyers for a non-profit agriculture organization, to review innumerable resumes, cover letters, essays, reports, short stories, and short film scripts. I have even been the primary editor for three novels. After so many years of helping so many amazing people put voice to their dreams and their stories, I have finally realized something.
I have loved every minute of it.
Not only am I not an imposter — but this is what I was created to do.
Some folks love to design buildings. Some folks love to build those buildings. Some people are passionate about brain surgery or podiatry – or even tree surgery (it’s a thing, trust me). One of my nephews is an actual, really-truly, not-kidding-you rocket scientist (and he married another for-reals rocket scientist – if I’m confused about tecchie stuff, I’m fairly certain I could never stump them); his brother is a mathematical whiz who helped several of my children through Algebra II (since their dad has a statistics PhD, and their mother is a microbiology Master, it’s no surprise that those nuts didn’t fall very far from that genius tree)!
In my family, I have a PhD-level statistician, an economist, multiple artists, musicians, filmmakers, actors, educators, scientists, a banker, aeronautical engineers, MBAs, an accountant, a miner, an interior architectural designer, and the list goes on. Until now, all those labels intimidated me because I figured they represented so much more value and importance than whoever I might be. But then I discovered something else.
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First, I know now that my value is not based on what I do; my value lies is who I am. If I was created to love the written word, and have a passion to help others find their own written voice, then I will find joy in creating opportunities for us to do that together.
Second, I have come to realize that each of those people I mentioned above were created to be who they are, and they are following the natural path laid out for them. If that is true for them, it is true for me.
Claire, I hope that my story will help you understand how limiting beliefs can keep us from fulfilling our deepest dreams, and that when we identify them, we take our first step toward pursuing our greatest life journey. I shared with you the importance of letting go of our limiting beliefs which hinder our progress in embracing our passions and finding our purpose, and shifting our mindset to embrace truth about who we are created to be.
The one thing I hope you will take away from this letter is that you can know that your value lies in who you are, not in what you do, and you can find and follow the path laid out for you by the innate passions you sense belong uniquely to you.
I consider it a privilege to assist you in finding your voice, in reaching others with the message only you can give, and in crafting writing that will make that happen. We can do this together, and it will be a journey that we will never forget.
We’ll talk again soon,
Beverly
